Argh, allotment challenge epi 2

A marginally better episode.

“It’s a bean…why’s it gotta be straight? It’s a bean.” Those were my words, said over and over. “good beans are wonky.”

Straight beans? I had a surprise when the first ever dwarf bean I grew were like little question marks. I have never ever tried to grow a straight bean. I mean, why? I am not growing to model them on a cat walk. And the first mention of pestilence. Blackfly, as I’m glad that Jo squished then. (Incidentally, she is local to me, so hello Jo!) squishing. We all do it! Not so sure about the bean sandwiches at all though. But no, I am never ever going to want straight beans. Mama H’s curry just wouldn’t be the same, I tell you.

Roses, I love. My plot has them all over. Both bushes and climbers, red, white, blue and yellow. So a tad patriotic. A perfect summer rose and a summer wreath. Interesting challenges. All my roses are beautiful to me. Even the purple moon, that only produces one tiny floo’er. But my roses don’t last, and they are on their own ‘do it when I feel like it’ schedule. I could feel myself start to eff and blind as the roses were planted. I don’t profess to have any “skill or judgement’ as the show said. I simply leave them to get on with it. I have yet to kill any pests, thankfully. I can understand why the one pair cloched them. But again, I wouldn’t. Roses are tough, I just wouldn’t pander and pamper them. I always get a bit saddened when chopping roses. For both dead heading and cut flowers. For cut flowers, that actually pains me. They are special, rose are a treat. The king of flowers, a crowning touch to a garden.

The making of a wreath went over my head. If it looks pretty in a vase on the dining table, then that is good-enough for me and for Mama H who generally makes that request. By all means faff with floo’ers, just not my thing.

Last year I made lots of chilli jam jelly. But there is more to using stuff you grow as jam. Relish and sauce were the order of a day. Why not a courgette and tomato quiche, a ratatouille? Jo, saved the day for me and stopped me have a strop, she pushed the boat out, courgettes and aubergines! Woo-hoo! A woman who was being resourceful and doing what the show should. Ratatouille relish, well done 🙂

The judging criteria for eat.

A chunky relish and ketchup sauce. Try the supermarket.

Glad to see the chillies, a naga viper too.

I know that lots of people grow for The show bench. They have that right. I do feel however, that this missing something of a point. That is the key feature, with the shows that I have seen so far. Missing the point. Far too much of a crafty sowing bee, master chef bake off thing. Not enough about the growing, the trials and tribulations. The slugs and snails were absent, though we had Blackfly.

Now, right at the beginning, fern tells us that the contestants-and that is what they are here-have a list. They choose what they want to grow. I do wonder about this list. Is it all standard stuff? Standard as in expected allotment veg. I was glad to see aubergines and the world’s second hottest chilli. I do wonder how experimental the contestants are. No two allotments are the same; yet the show bench is very token. Carrots, beans. And chutneys next week. Thane’s parting words for a chutney are that it’s not pushing any boundaries.

Well, I could have told you that for free, Thane.